That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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