You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
