i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
