Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
