called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize