Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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