I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
