Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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