protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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