dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
