I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just pee around me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I enjoy the company of your penis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
