Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
