I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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