The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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