Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
