When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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