is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize