Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
