no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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