real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
