She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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