And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
