I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she told me i tasted like america
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
