watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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