i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
should my penis look like a turkey
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
