i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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