No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
