brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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