thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
