i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
