Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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