shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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