found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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