Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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