He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
