Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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