Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize