When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
3pm strippers are depressing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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