Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!