Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told you penises don't tan
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful