Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!