she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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