I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
