I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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