the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize