then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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