He is an equal opportunity slut.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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