I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
