just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
