is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
