k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
