This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
