I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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