Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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