I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
