You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
