Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The struggles of a small town man whore
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
