You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm at about main and main street
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
