C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
