I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
