What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
