Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
