Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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