So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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