So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
